Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.Īmbition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.Īn expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door. The brain is a wonderful organ it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.Īnyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.įind a job you like and you add five days to every week.īeat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon. There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job. I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday. If I’m not there, I go to work.ĭelegate your work. My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.Įvery day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. That’s why we recommend it daily.Īs I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. He can’t eat for eight hours he can’t drink for eight hours he can’t make love for eight hours. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do. It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you. Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter. It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. No man goes before his time-unless the boss leaves early.ĭoing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. So, here’s our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: No matter how complex your job has been, this list of funny work quotes is the easiest way to lift your spirits and cheer you up.
When you feel your load becoming heavier, it’s time to look for something exciting and hilarious to help you relieve stress with a hearty laugh. Or maybe it’s just MONDAY! And we all know how Mondays are…īut you know what? Work stress may be high for you and your employees right now, but you do have some control over it. Or perhaps you’re simply grumpy since you had to switch out of your PJs and slip into proper pants today. Maybe you’re stressed out because of a looming deadline, or you’re tired of watching the same office scenes day after day. So how about making the environment a tad bit more lively? Amazingly enough, we may have just the thing for you-a hilarious list of funny work quotes that would be perfect for your workplace.ĭo you know that every chuckle or shared joke brings with it a slew of business benefits, according to research from prestigious schools like Wharton, MIT, and London Business School? Without lively chats and witty humor, the workplace might become the last place on earth where anybody would want to be.
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